Quotes: k

The problem in the Middle East is that everyone thinks they are the chosen people. The Jews – we are the chosen people. The Arabs – we are the chosen people. Look, if you’re the chosen people, how come you’re living in the middle of a desert? Maybe the Samoans are the chosen people.

Anyone who cannot come to terms with his life while he is alive needs one hand to ward off a little his despair over his fate … but with his other hand he can note down what he sees among the ruins.

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

My fear is my substance, and probably the best part of me.

We are sinful not merely because we have eaten of the Tree of Knowledge, but also because we have not eaten of the Tree of Life.

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

i like my programming languages like i like my coffee. java is in there but almost unrecognizable because we added so much sugar

If you don’t take risks you don’t get gifts.

…people who face a difficult question often answer an easier one instead…

If I were a reader, I’d probably be sending myself apoplectic hate mail.

don’t pay any attention to what venture capitalists tell you about marketing

the law of cybernetics states that i am not erratic or unstable enough to hold anyone’s attention for very long

A bus? I bet the rush you get when you turn around to see a large transporter in your face is phenomenal! I’ll pass though.

What! You actually think the Grand Moff Tarkin died when the Death Star exploded? Nonsense…I never saw the body, did you?

A novel is a fight to the death between an author and their potential.

When I first started my career in Silicon Valley, I made the profound mistake of getting an entry-level job in tech PR, a generally sycophantic industry that is, among other things, a sprawling ghetto for women, a crutch for bad products, a sworn enemy of plain English, and a pit of lies and incompetence. There I launched all of the things until quitting in disgust and rage, which is the only way to quit anything.

There’s information vital to our cause…in my pants!

USA Today: The Newspaper for People who don’t have time for TV.

This is another step forward in the evolution of Java. We’re very excited to be able to offer developers the opportunity to easily display lines of text…

That’s what it says in my day planner: 4:00, represent. I’m late already. I’m supposed to step off by 6:00…

If you still do not understand this process please shut off your computer and go home.

For those non-Americans in the house, July 4th (Independence Day) is an American holiday where we commemorate when The Fresh Prince of Bel Air shot down some aliens or something. Have a beer, eat a burger, light some M-80’s!

Hasta La Vista, AltaVista CEO… Looks like they’re attempting to “synergize new paradigms” and “converge similar wankage” and other stuff like that.

Okay to fully understand that paragraph you had to be familiar with modern music, professional wrestling, and the Linux operating system. Sorry…

David Hasselhoff and optical storage technology make this all possible.

Don’t worry, prekies will be here soon to provide us with seconds if not minutes of entertainment!

Geoff got sued for sexual harassment and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Heh, $5 worth of animatronics and they’ve got Adam fooled.

hoping for the incomplete. the melting icefall. intoxication furthers.

I am alt.discordia.

I hear lots of people saying that they aggressively use their Pilots, and I don’t think they’re lying, unlike the Newton people.

I’ve been… insomaniacal.

It represents man’s struggle against giant rotating penises.

Now I lay me down to sleep If I die before I wake BONUS!

Reading comp.sys.powerpc would distract me from my sword duty of doing algorithms, graphics and being whined at by Josh.

That which does not kill me is surely defective and should be returned to the manufacturer for replacement.

There is no relativity. Some people are just wrong.

They are origami vultures… They Kick Ass… They perch!!

Try ‘zctl wg_exit’. It’s actually a famous zen mantra used to calm many in ancient times.

When grasshopper learns to stagger drunk like a flea, he will be ready to leave the monastary.

Ya know, Fascism in moderation is pretty cool…

Your AuthMan icon seems to have disappeared. Oh my God, you must feel so insecure.

There are only two hard things in CS: cache invalidation and naming things.

Married to your work, huh? So am I, which would make my wife my mistress. It’s probably why I’m still in love with her.

There is nothing cute or charming about chess; it is a violent sport, and when you confront your opponent you set out to crush his ego.

According to the Snapple company, the best stuff on Earth, from which Snapple Iced Tea is claimed to be made, apparently consists of: Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Tea, and Natural Flavors. I just thought people should know, in case they were frittering their money away on houses, cars, computers, clothes, diamonds and/or gold, in the mistaken belief that that stuff is better than High Fructose Corn Syrup and friends.

Also, if you, leverage you’re primary strengths and put your’s and other’s goals in a mission statement, and meet too discuss there ideas, your more, likely to meet you’re careabout, to.

Apple’s redesigned UI for MacOS X is so incredibly slick I hope their users don’t slip, fall and break something.

Back to Java code. It’s the future, or something.

Because without a degree you might end up like Bill Gates or something.

Being a Senior every year is fun. How many years in a row should I have my picture put in the yearbook?

Bill Gates is supposed to be some great techno-wizard. What, because he wrote a BASIC interpreter once in the late 70’s? (As far as I know, that and his child are the only things that Gates has actually created, and even with his child, I’m sure his wife did most of the work.)

Bummer the “hello world” got standardized as the typical starting app instead of the “touch my monkey” counterpart.

“Buying an Apple just doesn’t make all that much sense when the whole rest of the world is using PC/Windows-based systems.” Yeah, and being American doesn’t make much sense when there are over a billion Chinese.

Do you realize that midichlorination is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face.

Does it seem weird to anyone else that church had to be cancelled today due to an act of God? Maybe He just wanted a day off or something.

Female => Girl => Slimy… Proof: Assertion by lack of counterexample. Q.E.D.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Whooo-hoo. Sorry. It’s just that I’ve been doing a little too much Win32 development lately for my own good.

I am the Alpha and the Omega. The archgenesis and the destroyer of worlds. She is Karen.

I curse Microsoft at least once a day. I only curse Apple every other day. As I see it, that’s a 100% improvement.

I found out a useful piece of information in High School physics. Vacuum doesn’t suck. Everything else blows.

I hate people who compare building software to building bridges. Building software is like building a bridge by carefully stacking atoms on top of each other.

I like your cat, but I wouldn’t want to be greedy, so I’ll only take half.

I live in a dorm. If I get drunk and wander around in my bathrobe throwing bottles, I get an internal citation and don’t end up hitting any cars anyway. And you know I’m a compu-perfolk, because most of the reason I’m still living on campus is the cooo-el ten megabit network connections.

I think the portion of grades that are due to pure luck is almost nil, if you disregard the luck that causes the surrounding circumstances.

I wish something exciting would happen, like an alien invasion or something. Do you ever wonder whether someone like me is sitting in a missile silo somewhere thinking, “Life has gotten just a little TOO BORING.”

I would like to try to persuade you not to write this book. Two previous posts have already cited examples of people who would kill for such a book, and I simply cannot condone the violence that such a book’s release might ensue.

If I were to start the killing, I would be sure to do it in a remote, wide-open place or someone is likely to get hurt.

If I ever become a scandalous famous person, I’m going to start a diary, and write two hours of mindless drivel every evening, more if I can find the time, and force Congress to sift through it all.

It’s buried under a pile of paper, which is more secure than Kerberos anyway.

I’ve seen bitings, however, I still think Lisa and Faith are mostly talk. I don’t think they could corrupt a pile of sodium on a humid day in the rainforests of Brazil.

IMHO, sleeping with someone is one thing. An unforgivable. Going to a strip club once, the night before the wedding, seems irrelevent. I’m not clear on which one you’re commenting on. Or do you mean playing Warcraft II and hacking systems all night? Yeah, I could see how that could break it all up.

Life would be far more interesting if people could explode at will.

Now that IE is part of the OS, we can provide you with new features like system wide memory leaks and convoluted interfaces to previously straightforward tasks!

Sam’s Diet Plan: A Coke for breakfast, a Coke for lunch, and a sensible dinner…

Sigh`^H^H^H^H`Wheee…. Another wasted CD-R`^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H`frisbee.

T minus 56.5 and counting to “eccentric millionare” status.

The movie to which I’m referring has the same name, but you seem to be referring to something called “character development”, a concept that I do not remember from the movie in question, which dealt more with “character ass-kicking”.

The VM system has been greatly revamped and sped up. I’m sure all the old bugs have been fixed and replaced with new ones.

There is no CyberSpace, just a lot of people pretending.

*This message contains forward looking statements that involve risks and uncertainties, including the timetable for world domination and the public’s acceptance of my benevolent dictatorship. More information on potential factors that could affect the success of the plan described in this statement is included in the public and private speech archive of Emperor Sam I (am).

This useless tidbit thanks to an increasing obsession with reading Newsweek cover-to-cover each week.

Those German lawmakers seem to be anti-Neo-Nazi Nazis or something.

Well, I promised I wouldn’t do anything stupid, so now you have to do the same. Of course, what’s stupid for me seems to be the oppisite of what’s stupid for you.

Wow. And I’ve been feeling good about Pittsburgh because it’s been balmy and sunny two days in a row.

You shouldn’t need to install simple programs to run them. You shouldn’t need to reboot to install simple programs. You shouldn’t need to reboot to change settings. You shouldn’t need to reboot.

You WILL be assimilated into the PDA revolution… resistance, if less than one ohm, is futile…

In keeping with a movie busy presenting 750 separate special effects, we are never told what the Sedition Group is or why it would go to such incredible trouble to destroy the Robinsons’ plans, not to mention their own planet. All we know is that its members are middle-aged white men which, these days, is more than enough.

Double Latte Bolivian Mint Crack With a Touch of Angel Dust, Shaken not stirred. To Go.

Our prep course for the USMLE (medical boards) is pure science review. Our prep for the SAT is largely testmanship. Why? Because the USMLE tests science and the SAT tests nothing.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

I am also very interested in a pill or herb that will make my penis grow 3-4 inches. Please send information.

A crash is when your competitor’s program dies. When your program dies, it is an ‘idiosyncrasy.’ Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like ‘ID 02.’ ‘ID’ is an abbreviation for ‘idiosyncrasy’ and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had.

Are you oppressed or stupid?

If there’s anything worse than a CEO who sucks as a speaker, it’s a CEO who sucks as a speaker and you don’t know how much longer he’s going to suck.

If you need a flame-thrower instead of matches to jump-start your company, then something is wrong.

Jolt is for Windows programmers. It’s typical IBM PC: it goes in brown and comes out yellow. Mountain Dew is for Macintosh programmers: it goes in yellow and comes out yellow. It’s WYSIWYP.

Not even Akio Morita could set the clock on a VCR.

Our formula for valuation is 1 million for each full time engineer on the team, subtract 500k for each MBA.

Saying Windows 95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you’ve witnessed the second coming.

…since I have left Apple it has had its first profitable year in a while and the stock has tripled. Those of you who are Macintosh and Apple fans, you have my word that I will not return to the company…

Traditionally, Apple fellows came from the scientific academic or engineering world. They were made into fellows because of their intellectual prowess and visionary thinking. Then there’s me. I was made a fellow to kick butt.

Any medium powerful enough to extend man’s reach is powerful enough to topple his world. To get the medium’s magic to work for one’s aims rather than against them is to attain literacy.

Point of view is worth 80 IQ points.

The general attitude seems to be that people should wear square shoes, because squares are easier to design and manufacture than foot shaped shoes. If the shoe industry has gone the way of the computer industry it would now be running a $200-a-day course on how to walk, run and jump in square shoes.

The only way to predict the future is to invent it.

What people mean by the word technology is anything invented after they were born.

…let’s see who can be the first of you to stop, and I mean stop entirely. No parting shots. No defending yourselves. Just stop cold turkey. Walk away.

It doesn’t matter how much ice cream you add to manure; nobody will ever like it. However, if you add even the tinyest amount of manure to that ice cream…

‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty,’ - that is all / Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart’s affection and the truth of imagination - what the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth - whether it existed before or not.

Disco will never be over. It will always live in our minds and hearts. Something like this, that was this big, and this important, and this great, will never die. Oh, for a few years - maybe many years - it’ll be considered passé and ridiculous. It will be misrepresented and caricatured and sneered at, or - worse - completely ignored. People will laugh about John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, white polyester suits and platform shoes and people going like *this*, but we had nothing to do with those things and still loved disco. Those who didn’t understand will never understand: disco was much more, and much better, than all that. Disco was too great, and too much fun, to be gone forever! It’s got to come back someday. I just hope it will be in our own lifetimes.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

If tofu adds years to your life, they probably wouldn’t be the best years.

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature … Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

I can’t kill you, I have to be sick and demented and scary right now.

I’m a closet discordian…a pantry subgenius…

the world is your oyster, you know. it smells like seawater and it might clamp shut on your finger and inside there’s a glob of something that’s like a big living glob of snot, and maybe - *if* you’re lucky! - a little deformed pearl.

You can’t plonk me, i’m the gingerbread man!!!

Can you mail me X Windows on a disk?

Get this, (from [a male admirer]): ‘I am not worthy! Good morning, Milady.’ You call that persuading?… Guess again…

People who take issue with control of population do not understand that if it is not done in a gracefull way, nature will do it in a brutal fashion.

In August 2021, I drove five hours to see Blue Öyster Cult play the Indiana Bacon Festival. This is the most American sentence ever written.

If the idea of a protocol behaving like a rabid, diseased sex-crased bunny rabbit appeals to you, AppleTalk is for you.

If you think that the future world will be Pax Americana, you are wrong. Either there would be a world for all, or there would be no world at all.

Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain.

the great enemy of truth is often not the lie –deliberate, contrived and dishonest – but the myth – persistent, persuasive and unrealistic

Of those to whom much is given, much is required.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

Washington is a city of southern efficiency and northern charm.

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.

We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do all the other things – not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our ability and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one that we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.

Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

The gross national product does not allow for the health of our children, the quality of their education or the joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the strength of our marriages, the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country. It measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile. And it can tell us everything about America, except why we are proud that we are Americans.

There’s a fine line between bad habits and style.

Defendant’s obnoxiously ancient, boilerplate, inane Motion is emphatically DENIED. Moreover, Defendant’s present counsel-of-record, Mr. Eric G. Carter is determined to be disqualified for cause from this action for submitting this asinine tripe. In his place, the Court hereby ORDERS that Mr. Brandon Mosley of Mr. Carter’s lawfirm be SUBSTITUTED as attorney-in-charge for Defendant. Mr. Carter shall appear no further in the present matter.

An ideal Michael Bay shot, right, is: the twenty-seven year old stripper leaning over the body of a car which then gets hit by rocket fire and explodes.

Last time we checked, four films worse than Bride Wars had been released in 2009 and guess what, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is one of them. If there are ten films worse than Bride Wars then, as I promised in January, I will quit

So I want to be absolutely clear: yes, the film is mind-bendingly terrible. It is incredibly long, and incredibly boring, and nothing happens – very loudly – about 100 times.

Watching a Michael Bay movie is like being hit over the head with tax returns.

The only people for me are the mad ones – the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awwww”.

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.

People are very open-minded about new things – as long as they’re exactly like the old ones.

Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.

Your greatest danger is the probable practical failure of the application of your philosophy in the United States.

As far as I am concerned, paranoia is nothing but heightened awareness.

Pittsburgh: If you don’t like the weather, wait a minute.

The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears, and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters.

Your presence is requested at your earliest convenience. Please be sure your earliest convenience is at 1pm.

All right, that’s enough. Cut it out. Either play live or get the hell off the stage, you know. This isn’t Solid Gold.

This ain’t alt.angst.support, homeboy. Cold and inhumane revulsion is how we view the world, and how the world views us.

Apple copy-protects their operating system with a hardware dongle. This dongle is called a Macintosh.

I do profess to be no less than I seem; to serve him truly that will put me in trust: to love him that is honest; to converse with him that is wise, and says little; to fear judgment; to fight when I cannot choose; and to eat no fish.

For a great university one must provide football for the alumni, sex for the undergraduates and parking for the faculty.

…sometimes a network is just a network…

History is full of revisionists. Where it used to say “THOU SHALT NOT KILL” it now says, “except as specified in section III-B, Paragraph 12, Sub-section D, Schedule 3.” If that still doesn’t suit you, wait till next year’s commandments come out and trade it in for something that does.

ALPO is 99 cents a can. That’s over SEVEN dog dollars!!

i am neither living nor dead, and being purely coincidental runs in my family.

If a man hasn’t discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.

Through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can’t murder murder. Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can’t establish truth. Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can’t murder hate. Darkness cannot put out darkness.

Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people will get to the promised land. And I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

I have a cat named Trash. In the current political climate it would seem that if I were trying to sell him (at least to a Computer Scientist), I would not stress that he is gentle to humans and is self-sufficient, living mostly on field mice. Rather, I would argue that he is object-oriented.

Like all the best horror movies, the premise is simple: Five young people are trapped on top of a pyramid, surrounded by carnivorous plants.

Lunacy is when you can’t see the seams where they stitched the world together anymore.

Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy – in a jar on my desk.

We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.

I’m told I am dangerous because I might get in the way of this holy project we’ve undertaken to keep dropping heavy objects from the sky until we’ve wiped out every last person who could potentially hate us.

I’m an occupational hazard.

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is not king, he is considered insane.

Now with all natural added enthusiasm!

The only time i update my Netscape is when you tell me to, on the theory that at any other time it would plunge me into a world of darkness from which i might never return.

There’s never time to do things right, only time to do things over.

I have written the tale of our days for a sheltered people’s mirth, in jesting guise, but ye are wise, and know what the jest is worth.

… but when you come to Heritage USA, remember to bring your Bible and your VISA card - because the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God doesn’t take American Express.

* experienced a moment of true Yuppie-dom last night as both my pager AND cellphone went off at the same time while I was driving, and in attempting to answer the cell and check the pager, I nearly spilled my Starbucks latte. If I’d been driving a Sports Utility Vehicle and/or wearing any article of clothing from the Gap, the horror would have been complete and I would have had to commit suicide.

And it’s my opinion, and that’s only my opinion, you are a lunatic. Just because there are a few hundred other people sharing your lunacy with you does not make you any saner.

Campus politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Each success only buys an admission ticket to a more difficult problem.

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.

Hey…isn’t there anything interesting to do around here? Ancient civilizations to crumble? Things to blow up? Daycare?

APL was just amazing. When you could remember what you’d actually written the next day – or the next hour – that was such a rush.

If you look at how the federal government spends our money, it’s an insurance conglomerate protected by a large, standing army.

That might work, but only because the media isn’t always that bright.

Whenever people turn a discussion of policy into a discussion of principle, it’s wise to check your pockets.

sexual speech can be expected to stimulate disorder among those new to adult hormones

I thought I just heard on the radio that the House Procreations Committee was trying to decide how big the package should be.

A good Board will give you better advice than your mother.

After learning some tricks of the trade, many people think they know the trade.

After R&D is finished, make sure the dogs want to eat the dog food.

Revisionist history usually begins during the IPO.

The time to eat appetizers is when they are being passed around.

There are times when panic is the appropriate response.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.

Commitment, n. Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, and the pig is committed.

Sure, we can raise money! We can raise your Activities Fee.

If you were to condense the best of the Web down to a single phrase, what would it be? What words capture the Internet’s purest essence? No, not ‘free porn’.

Skins – user-customizable interface overlays – are the latest rage. “Non-standard!” is the new rallying cry. And all this portends dark days to come – perky, shiny, translucent days, yes, but dark as night.

Scientists in New Guinea have discovered a culture whose members communicate exclusively through the use of plan files.

Social Butterfly: a person with friends who don’t know how to use e-mail.

This memo is to notify you that you are happy in your job. If you have any questions, please contact the Personnel office at extension x3088. Thank you.

gcc’s whole purpose in life is to be fast at the expense of that nice secure feeling cc gives you by being quiet.

Hey, I could summon a demon to terrorize that church. Cool.

But the three of them made the bad mistake of trying to offer the fan god some ramen. One should never ever offer any kind of god something like ramen – they know better than to go near the stuff. As a result the god turned angry and began spitting out things. He demanded a sacrafice – the cat!

I will consult the magic 8 ball on that one … its says “How the hell should I know”

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.

Rodriguez and Miller nailed this one with railroad spikes.

Any inaccuracies in this index may be explained by the fact that it has been sorted with the help of a computer.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

TeX has found at least one bug in every Pascal compiler it’s been run on, I think, and at least two in every C compiler.

The process of preparing programs for a digital computer is especially attractive, not only because it can be economically and scientifically rewarding, but also because it can be an aesthetic experience much like composing poetry or music.

You’re bound to be unhappy if you optimize everything.

Chickens, like two-edged swords, often come home to roost.

We have the most [thorough] test guy in the world… [I showed him this program and he asked,] ‘but Rob, what if time runs backward?’

I don’t know if freezing cold lake breezes actually have the biological effect of reducing the effect of alchohol on the human body, or if it’s a purely psychological effect. (I think most people would describe “hey! Where are my testicles? I can’t feel ‘em!” as a sobering thought).

It’s not that I got it and didn’t think it was funny. It’s more that I was asleep when you said it.

My car has a V1 engine and gets 2000 miles to the gallon, therefore I must race the penis car in heavy traffic to eliminate its advantage.

Of course just because I am not bitter and miserable doesn’t mean I don’t want to get some guns and start the killing.

Take the red line north. DONT GO SOUTH. SOUTH IS BAD.

The dude whose cards we were using talks about the “good deal” he got by buying 2 boxes for $120. That’s basically all I would need to know in case my brain exploded and I actually considered buying some cards.

Detroit? Oh, please. Detroit has no chance here. None. This is Detroit’s all-time record in Washington: 0-19. The Lions have never won here. The Lions couldn’t beat the Christians here.

The Redskins all talked about how loud it was there, and how they were adversely affected by the noise. It got so loud inside the Silverdome that if Mount Vesuvius had erupted on the 20-yard-line, you couldn’t have heard it at midfield. Let me phrase this in terms everyone in Washington will understand: It sometimes gets so loud inside the Silverdome you couldn’t hear Joe Theismann.

Wean Hall is being converted into a really big Eat & Park.

Hey, I have an idea! AFS Stacker!

I don’t need to 'su’ to kill you.

I need to find a mountain that has a serious chance of killing me.

When I *do* lose it, I’m going to make sure I do it in a post office just to screw up the statistics.

The upshot is that if you heat up a sample of germanium, electrons will jump from a non-conductive energy band to a conductive one, thereby creating a measurable change in resistivity. This relation between temperature and resistivity can be shown to be exponential in certain temperature regimes by waving your hands and chanting “to first order”.

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

it’s RFC 3133t – A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Vaporware.

It really is a nice theory. The only defect I think it has is probably common to all philosophical theories. It’s wrong. You may suspect me of proposing another theory in its place; but I hope not, because I’m sure it’s wrong too if it’s a theory.

But these irrational Bush haters are body-piercing, Hollywood-loving, left-wing freaks who should go back where they came from: the executive offices of Alcoa, and the halls of the Army War College.

I like to describe economic data as a peculiarly boring form of science fiction.

Moore offered an argument I hadn’t heard before. The reason I hadn’t heard it that it’s really, really stupid.

The basic picture of the federal government you should have in mind is that it’s essentially a huge insurance company with an army…

Whom the Gods would destroy, they first put on the cover of Business Week.

Why did productivity stagnate for 20 years, then revive? The truth is that it probably had very little to do with anyone’s economic policies; the best guess is that businesses spent two decades figuring out what to do with information technology, then found the answer: big box stores!

I believe that drugs are basically of more use to the audience than to the artist. I think that the illusion of oneness with the universe, and absorption with the significance of every object in your environment, and the pervasive aura of peace and contentment is not the ideal state for an artist. It tranquilizes the creative personality, which thrives on conflict and on the clash and ferment of ideas. The artist’s transcendence must be within his own work; he should not impose any artificial barriers between himself and the mainspring of his subconscious. One of the things that’s turned me against LSD is that all the people I know who use it have a peculiar inability to distinguish between things that are really interesting and stimulating and things that appear to be so in the state of universal bliss that the drug induces on a “good” trip. They seem to completely lose their critical faculties and disengage themselves from some of the most stimulating areas of life. Perhaps when everything is beautiful, nothing is beautiful.

Think that’s about the Holocaust? That was about success, wasn’t it? The Holocaust is about six million people who get killed. “Schindler’s List” is about 600 who don’t.

The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent, but if we can come to terms with the indifference, then our existence as a species can have genuine meaning. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.

It seems there are two types of people on the planet: those that wonder why children would want a toy that lets them see in the dark and those that buy night vision goggles from toy stores because they’re under a hundred dollars.

There’s nothing scary (or original) about 99.44% of CMU students, no matter how many skinnypuppy albums they purchase, no matter how much black they wear, regardless of the Jell-O shots they consume, no matter how long the stick/staff they carry to class. Double the penalty for any talk of Cthulhu.

If you do things the way everybody else does, why do you think you’re going to do any better?

In 1968, Stewart Brand wrote “We are as gods and might as well get good at it.” The problem is, we don’t have the immortality of gods (even if we conquer old age, we won’t be invulnerable), and we don’t have Heaven to live in. We could very easily create Hell. It’s no longer that we “might as well get good at it.” We *must* get good at it.

Had NASA just tested its rocket’s interface with its target market (which included both astronauts and dim-witted workers), it might have predicted that Junior would confuse “Launch” and “Lunch.” This foresight could have saved NASA hundreds of millions of dollars (and saved Sid and Marty dozens of dollars spent on foam rubber, not to mention keeping Bob Denver’s career from slipping yet another notch, and sparing a young Mike Kuniavsky many restless nights dreaming that he was being chased by H. R. Pufnstuf rejects).

What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

In the wilderness your possessions cannot surround you. Your preconceptions cannot protect you. Your logic cannot promise you the future. Your guilt can no longer place you safely in the past. You are left alone each day with an immediacy that astonishes, chastens, and exults. You see the world as if for the first time

The new version of Netscape doesn’t understand MX records for SMTP hosts. How high is their stock?

It’s funny though: rather than highlight the obscure British pacifists of the 1940s, you’d think Kelly would have focused the highest-profile pacifist of all time, Jesus, and his attempts to pitch pacifism to his fellow Jews in 30 A.D., when the Romans were regularly murdering chariot-loads of Jews. But heck, Jesus is a pretty popular guy now, so I can see why Kelly wouldn’t want to call him evil and immoral.

Last night, when the outcome was clear, David Brooks said that if Obama reached across the aisle, he could gain the support of 15 to 20 Republican senators—proving that he can smoothly transition from being unable to interpret polls to being unable to interpret election results.