Quotes: d

Powers For Algernon

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

I never did drugs because I am drugs.

The difference between Dali and a madman is that Dali isn’t mad.

The difference between the surrealists and me is that I am surreal.

A year later, Webvan’s market cap has collapsed, Shaheen is gone, and many people (myself included) think the company will go out of business by the end of the year.

Most successful sites - Yahoo!, eBay, FedEx - are not only simply laid out, they’re also butt-ugly.

Speech on the Internet can be unfiltered, unpolished, and unconventional, even emotionally charged, sexually explicit, and vulgar- in a word, ‘indecent,’ in many communities. But we should expect such speech to occur in a medium in which citizens from all walks of life have a voice. We should also protect the autonomy that such a medium confers to ordinary people as well as media magnates

Maybe you didn’t hear me. I’m a Cath-o-lic priest. Historically, that falls somewhere between chorus boy and florist.

There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.

This is Lucrecia, Sephiroth’s mom. Due to her being injected with Plot Device Jenova Cells, she’s become immortal or something.

If you’re not going to kill me, I have things to do.

Dan, could you please send me your phone # and e-mail address. It’ll make it easier to contact you after my cat presses the “stop” button on my answering machine while you’re trying leave a message.

Ever notice how they have to distinguish between Truth, Justice, and *then* the American Way?

Fans are interesting things. Rush fans just can’t comprehend why the rest of the world doesn’t like Rush. REM fans consider the rest of the world beneath their social level to notice. Kate Bush fans love the rest of the world, and the world loves them, but spend long nights plotting to knife one another.

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

Anyone who has never hacked sendmail.cf has no soul. Anyone who has hacked it twice has no brain.

If you don’t have 36 bits, you’re not playing with a full DEC.

That was Zen. This is Tao.

The main difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman is that the used car salesman can probably drive and knows when he’s lying.

If you can’t giggle, tickle, scream, laugh, run around the room naked, pour liqueur on each other and lick it off, tie each other down, have whipped cream fights, dance and sing with each other, then you are having sex with the person too soon…

The dreamers are the ones who conceive of what could happen and the scientists are the ones who make it happen. The best of humanity are those who combine both traits.

Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.

She herself was a victim of that lust for books which rages in the breast like a demon, and which cannot be stilled save by the frequent and plentiful acquisition of books. This passion is more common, and more powerful, than most people suppose. Book lovers are thought by unbookish people to be gentle and unworldly, and perhaps a few of them are so. But there are others who will lie and scheme and steal to get books as wildly and unconsciously as the dope-taker in pursuit of his drug. They may not want the books to read immediately, or at all; they want them to possess, to range on their shelves, to have at command. They want books as a Turk is thought to want concubines – not to be hastily deflowered, but to be kept at their master’s call, and enjoyed more often in thought than in reality.

I consider “RoboCop” one of the top five movies ever made starring a guy in rubber suit. Or at least top ten.

VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you can use unix.

People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

And then there’s three bean delight. Which word does not fit in that phrase–three, bean, or delight?

It’s 106 ms to Chicago, we’ve got a full disk of GIFs, half a meg of hypertext, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Click it.

Can you say ‘Slow down for speed bumps? Hah! Floor it baby!’. You can do a lot of damage to a car if you hate it, and they let you keep it for a month.

I almost bought another car today. Stop me before I purchase again!

she turned out to be an actual budweiser girl. …we had an interesting conversation. Not scintillating, but it kept me from being rude and focusing on her breasts.

the professors must have thought all the students were on drugs or something. sometimes it must have seemed to them like they were talking to an empty classroom. or a classroom filled with angry mimes.

You’re the only person on the planet who can fail a rorschadt test.

“Deep” is a word like “theory” or “semantic” – it implies all sorts of marvelous things. It’s one thing to be able to say “I’ve got a theory”, quite another to say “I’ve got a semantic theory”, but, ah, those who can claim “I’ve got a deep semantic theory”, they are truly blessed.

Legacy code is any code you haven’t written yourself.

This article is an endless litany of bogus conclusions based off of optimistic, yet flawed assumptions.

science is not religion and it doesn’t come down to just faith. Although it has many of religion’s virtues, it has none of it’s vices. Science is based upon verifiable evidence. Religious faith not only lacks evidence, its independence from evidence is it’s pride and joy, shouted from the rooftops

Updates here will be spotty to nonexistent over the next couple of days as I’ll be in New York. Yes, they do have IP tone there, but they also have large quantities of light fantastic that requires tripping.

I have nothing against Pat Robertson being born again, but did he have to come back as himself?

If Tim Pierce were to rmgroup a new newsgroup in a forest, and no one was around to read his control message and rather minimalistic explanation, would he make a sound?

Risk everything, or gain nothing.

I assure you that with the help of God I will enter powerfully against you, and I will make war on you in every place and in every way that I can, and I will subject you to the yoke and obedience of the church and their highnesses, and I will take your persons and your women and your children, and I will make them slaves, and as such I will sell them, and dispose of them as their highnesses command: I will take your goods, and I will do you all the evils and harms which I can, just as to vassals who do not obey and do not want to receive their lord, resist him and contradict him. And I declare that the deaths and harms which arise from this will be your fault, and not that of their highnesses, nor mine, nor of the gentlemen who have come with me here.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Microsoft’s Avalon is the J2EE of GUI APIs. Its God’s way of punishing us for replacing the ten commandments with the Design Pattern fad. We will have to wait a couple of years for the “Rails” of GUI toolkits to come into existance. In the meantime programmers will pay for their sins. Avalon marks the end of the American Dream.

You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made. I do not contradict them, and would not even if I wished to. For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness – it means more to me than my life itself.

Humor him, and keep him away from those who die easily.

i dont believe in the general notion of love, but thats not to say im into mechanical sex and honey, lets figure out how to look more snobbish than our friends

I invented writing. I am the _. begining and end. +n. I didn’t invent typing obviously.

I know what art is. and I AM NOT TELLING.

i’ve met the electric hellfire club they’re all flammable and that’s about the sum total of their worth

“I was in the goth scene. It got lame, so now I’m a techno kid.” … This really means, “I dated a lame goth chick. Now I have concluded that all goth sucks, and have started taking X to help me cope.”

Whatever it is, I didn’t do it, but feel free to send me $$ regardless.

Pain is temporary. Suck is forever.

So it looks like the remake of V planned to hit the airwaves is going to film in Canada after all. No good can come of this… For starters, lizards hate the cold. And we already know what happens when a foreign power rules their country… nothing.

Allow me to introduce you to my friend, the Internet. The Internet is a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Asking the Internet to play fair and nice is to demonstrate that you don’t understand the Internet.

All failures of strategy are rooted in the assumption that outcomes are predictable.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.

Even Sandy doesn’t know everything!

First: Rape and Pillage, THEN burn…

I am the Devil, and I come to do the Devil’s laundry.

I never swallowed a goldfish. I should.

Somebody’s playing games with your head again? Did they wash their hands?

Well, I don’t know; SQL can suck pretty effectively.

the ideal girl … 34-26-32-19. chest, waist, hips, monitor

Aim at a length of 5 to 10 pages or so for the prospectus, and more for the final paper. A final paper less than 15 pages tends to make your instructor suspicious, while a final paper more than 25 pages tends to make your instructor cranky.

Cossacks work for czars. And it is when czars dismantle the checks-and-balances that monitor and supervise cossacks that you can be most certain that the cossacks are working directly for the czars.

David Frum laments the fate of the small government conservatives. He doesn’t quite put it this way, but they were the victims of the political equivalent of a Nigerian 419 scam.

Even if, as Mr. Yglesias says elsewhere, it might be that “the cakewalk scenario, though wrong in retrospect, was the best reading of the available evidence,” Rumsfeld’s force planning was still lousy. It’s not his job to plan for the most likely case, or for the best case, or for a good case. It’s his job to plan for all cases: so that there is not just a path that leads to victory, but all (or almost all) paths lead to (rapid, nearly bloodless, and decisive) victory.

Every time the New YorK Times publishes a column by David Brooks, a fairy has its wings torn off by a predator and dies of blood loss.

I pay for the *Economist* in the hope that it can tell me true things about the world that I don’t already know, rather than confirm things that I learned from other sources four years ago.

I think that I have just flunked the Turing Test. This isn’t the kind of thing that a sentient intelligence would do to itself, is it?

In Newport, Rhode Island, at the end of March, beware when ordering pasta with “seasonal vegetables.” The set of vegetables that are “seasonal” in Rhode Island at the end of March is the empty set. What you get is pasta accompanied by (a) those vegetables that were put into the root cellar last October that (b) nobody wanted to eat in November and © nobody wanted to eat in December and (d) nobody wanted to eat in January and (e) nobody wanted to eat in February.

irony doesn’t travel well through packet networks

Next time, I’ll talk about Adolf Hitler, whose big problem–besides being a bloodthirsty persuasive paranoid genocidal psychopath, that is–is that he pays to much attention to (a) Malthus, (b) social darwinists, and © cowboy novels.

People right-of-center should be exposed to the neoclassical economics toolkit only after posting a $1M bond to cover collateral damage, and only under the supervision of trained professionals.

Tomorrow, Paul Krugman reports from “the throne of Azathoth, the blind idiot God, where you must sign in your own blood the book of Azathoth, watch his flopping horde of mindless and amorphous dancers, and be lulled by the thin monotonous piping of a demonic flute held in nameless paws.” I think this is a reference to the G-20.

Without satisfactory answers to these three questions, you are not investing: you are gambling in Las Vegas and you are not the house–you are, indeed, on a blind date with destiny and she has just ordered the lobster.

You may argue that Mitch Daniels faced a uniquely bad situation when he became OMB Director: a president too lazy to grasp the issues, a senior White House staff that did not understand that, like, bad, like, economic policy could, like, create bad economic news when, like, it comes time to try to reelect the president.

Creation is a drug I can’t do without.

According to convention there is a sweet and a bitter, a hot and a cold, and according to convention, there is an order. In truth, there are atoms and a void.

Others can (and have) pointed out why you are technically, factually inaccurate. I am content simply to flame you.

I’m sorry, Dave, but I don’t think you should cast that pointer. Malloc will barf, and your program will go west, taking me with it.

People should have a license before they’re allowed to drive on the superhighway.

Q. How do you make something more bloated and less useful that Motif or OpenLook? A. Make it Motif and OpenLook.

The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds it’s spot and takes root, it doesn’t need its brain any more so it eats it. It’s rather like getting tenure.

I listen to Geoff talking about meeting at Buck’s at a quarter to seven. I don’t want to be at Buck’s at 6:45 a.m.

Feeling lucky, vampire scum?

Actually I have real references, they work on commission.

Do not taunt depressed, annoyed, and unencumbered by fears of retribution in the afterlife, Happy Fun Mark.

I am sure that terrorists, drug dealers, and criminals in general, would out of fear of prosecution (for illegal encryption) register their keys with the FBI. Why not eliminate a step and demand that if criminals are planing a crime they are required to notify the FBI.

I HAVE THE MOST TOYS! I WIN!!!!

I showed up at 9:30am this morning… they’re doing DNA testing cause they really don’t think its me.

Ideals are ironically far from ideal to have.

If I learned anything from CMU, it was how hard it is to keep margin of error (when properly calculated) to a reasonable level. …most of the time in Experimental Physics, according to the calculations, I couldn’t even be sure the pendulum I was measuring was even in the same room. WEFA might not even be talking out of their own asses.

Katana is also a lowend Suzuki sportbike, a good buy used. Most people that buy them new find out they still can’t get laid with a new sportbike and sell them with low miles.

“Master Yoda, are Microsoft products better?” “No. Only easier, more seductive…”

Mother Teresa is a nice lady because it makes her feel good. I light things on fire for the same reason. The relative merit of either action can be argued, but the base motivation is exactly the same.

Pennsylvania: Pittsburgh, on one side, Phillidelphia on the other, and Alabama in between.

Q: What would a web page be with out a list of links? A: An opportunity to stop goofing off and get back to work. Since we can’t have that happen, here are some more time-wasters.

So its plan “B” for tonight: Go to a party at Penn State and get totally obliterated. (For those of you playing along Plan “A” = Plan “B” it just had different preconditions.)

Terry Kieser’s Turbo/Supercharged Nitrous injected ZX-11 weighs about 580lbs and at last year’s horsepower shootout put out 456hp. Pulled 210mph at the UFO shoot out. The test rider said that hiting the Nitrous at 170mph caused massive wheelspin. Build a bigger penis and the world will beat a path to your door.

The biggest reason against public transportation: the public.

The only thing standing between you and success is your sense of ethics.

The only way to keep a secret between two people is if one of them is dead.

This is a test of the Emergency Bitching System, repeat this is only a test. Had this been a true emergency the explitive you heard would have been followed by instructions from local and/or federal government offices.

Virtual reality is virtual reality because they haven’t figured out how to make it suck as much as real life.

[X] Check here if you are so lacking in classical music exposure that your only followup to Martin’s post was “Yeah, and the Spice Girls suck too.”

Your anecdotal evidence has thwarted me. Lo, I hang my head in shame.

Your Reality May Vary

After the boom, Web media got a bad name. So we gave it a new one.

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the leader is a servant.

If I were a religious person and not the rational thinking person I think I am, I would say that this thing doesn’t *think* it’s Satan, I’d say it *is* Satan.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

It is contrary to reasoning to say that there is a vacuum or space in which there is absolutely nothing.

Beer and guns don’t usually mix, but it isn’t a very powerful one.

Take the blue pill: you aren’t the One.

Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat.

The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty. You might want to mug someone with it.

apparently ‘joy’ is the new black

I’m not sexist, racist, elitist, temporalist or dimensionalist so I HAVE THE GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO DISLIKE PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE MY COGNITIVE CAPACITIES

If you haven’t heard the name Thresh before, there’s a good reason: no one Ahhhh! A fictional character!

Shoot first, use the ask questions part to reload, then resume shooting.

The problem with higher mathematics is that after a while you begin to see dark at the end of the tunnel.

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

…and full-fledged member of the ‘Powers-That-Be’

I didn’t even want to be a criminal. I wanted to be a pirate.

One disadvantage of the Univac system is that it does not use Unix, a recently developed program which translates from one computer language to another and has a built-in editing system which identifies errors in the original program.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.

Today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups. I ask, in my writing, What is real? Because unceasingly we are bombarded with pseudo-realities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms. I do not distrust their motives. I distrust their power. It is an astonishing power: that of creating whole universes, universes of the mind. I ought to know. I do the same thing.

It’s not easy, it’s not cheap, and it’s not optional.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

Our Trachinian friend brings us excellent tidings. If the Medes darken the sun, we shall have our fight in the shade.

Type designers are greedy weenies.

The birth of an idea is that happy moment when everything appears possible and reality has not yet entered into the problem.

In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it’s a fact.

Either they were dangerous idiots or plain old idiots and it’s never been clear to me which one. I guess the trial will clear that up.

APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for programming techniques of the past: it creates a new generation of coding bums.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

FORTRAN, the infantile disorder: by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly inadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.

In the good old days physicists repeated each other’s experiments, just to be sure. Today they stick to FORTRAN, so that they can share each other’s programs, bugs included.

It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

PL/1, “the fatal disease”, belongs more to the problem set than to the solution set.

The problems of business administration in general, and database management in particular are much to difficult for people that think in IBMese, compounded with sloppy english.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

Damn, I love being on the cuting edge of obsolescence!

IPv4 is designed to waste numbers by allocating addresses in power-of-2 blocks. IPv6 improves things by wasting a much larger amount of numbers to ensure that every organization has their fair share of waste.

I like the idea of a world with lots of independent filmmakers telling actual stories. And tons of high school kids with the latest solid modeling software making pap for all the other high school kids.

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.

Let your speech be better than silence, or be silent.

Written sarcasm relies on the reader being able to realize that the argument is so bizarre that the writer can’t possibly be serious. That usually fails in a .advocacy group.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it’s the exact opposite.

The author makes no guarantee that the story will satisfy you. THAT is entirely in your HANDS.

this compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. half the tracks, in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on the floor. digital technology will now faithfully reproduce these noisy, low-fi, un-professional masters at great expense. feel stupid yet?

If you can dream it you can do it. Always remember that this whole thing was started by a mouse.

It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.

Without tact you can learn nothing.

That last statement probably raised a few eyebrows… everybody knows that it’s much more hip and agile to refactor than to rewrite. On the playground, cool, agile kids laugh at nerds who rewrite applications.

The idea of a processor that does Dynamic Binary Translation did not seem very appealing to venture capitalists. That’s when we came up with the term ‘Code Morphing Software’ as a marketing tool to get more people interested in funding the Crusoe processor development.

My reality checks have been returned for insufficient funds.

Tired of the same old culture, day after day? Make up your own!

A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.

Piece of cake, Master? Radial slice of baked confection … coefficient of relevance to Key of Time: zero.

The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views … which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.

It’s possible that number portability will ramp up cellular churn to the point where one or two of these companies actually get a customer-service clue and emerge as winners. I’d sign up in a hot second for any cellular company whose motto was: “We’re less horrible than a root canal with a cold chisel.”

That would make a great WiFi antenna (which is, of course, the 21st Century’s version of “that would make a great bong.”)

Supporting Windows is like buying a puppy. The dog only cost $100, but we spent another $500 cleaning the carpet.“

You’re only as good as your last fiasco.

This demented donkey-kong country nintendo action sucks.

Hastings never bought into that consensus, as his choice of car demonstrates. He died at the wheel of a C-Class Merc with 200 HP. The point of a car like that is to drive into palm trees at 4:30 a.m.

You only have enough horsepower when you can burn the tires all the way down the straightaway. And then you don’t have enough.

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

See, you have to watch Dan Rather, every night, because one day, he’s just going to go totally nuts, on TV, and you don’t want to miss it.

It must be spring backhoe planting season.

This is NANOG. If someone posted "The Earth is round” I suspect we’d have: 1 post saying the earth is a sphere; 5 posts saying the earth is flat; 9 posts correcting them, saying is egg-shaped; 2 posts explaining how the shape varies depending on the dynamic properties of the core; 1 post saying its bigger on the bottom than on the top; 2 posts from Australia claiming the poster was engaging in hemispherism and the globe doesn’t have a “bottom” or “top”; 2 posts with JPG files from NASA showing the earth is round; 3 posts complaining about the size of the JPG images; 7 posts saying the images are NSA forgeries; 2 posts saying its off-topic for this list; 7 posts discussing the appropriate topics for the list; 2 posts saying MAE-east could be hit be an asteroid; 3 posts discussing off-planet backup facilities; 9 posts discussing the RTT of martian packets; 5 posts debating on the proper way to calculate the speed of light; 3 posts on the SETI@Home project; 5 posts on making SETI@Home run on linux machines; 1 post asking how to configure a Cisco router to run SETI@Home

I am two fools, I know, for loving, and for saying so.

I just wanted to remind you all of the issue of the nineties (it *will* lead to world peace): MORE GOOD SEX FOR THOSE WHO WANT IT!!

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Any lawyer can get you money. A really good one will get you a body part.

With great power comes the opportunity to amass even greater power.

The job of the poet is to render the world – to see it and report it without loss, without perversion. No poet ever talks about feelings. Only sentimental people do.

Star performers are never expensive… mediocre performers are unaffordable.

But leaving California now would be like leaving Florence during the Renaissance. Young people are coming from all over the world to participate in this miracle. I had to be part of it.

No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince. What is a claim of age for ones who are immortal? What is a claim of power for ones who defy death? Call your damnable hunt. We shall see who I drag screaming to hell with me.

Unsustainable economic policies nearly always manage to sustain themselves longer than you would believe. When the collapse begins, it almost always comes faster and is more terrible than you could have imagined.

Effective immediately, Apple Computer has unbundled the ‘return’ key from Apple keyboards. This allows Apple to lower the price of keyboards by $0.01. Users wishing to buy a return key will be able to do so through their local dealer. The kits will cost $99 installed, and are expected to be available in the third quarter of 1993. ‘We think this will enable more users to get return keys,’ said Apple chairman John Sculley. ‘Also, we want the money.’

Oog make mission statement.

Emacs is not an editor. Emacs is a way of thinking about the world, and as such is a way of thinking about editors. The process of editing is Emacs, but Emacs is more than the process of editing. When you ask what Emacs does, you are asking a question with no answer, because Emacs doesn’t do, it is done to. Emacs just is. … I hope this makes things clearer.

Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intellegnece and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great saddness on Earth.

Certainly, I think Catholicism has a stronger cultural tradition than the other Christian religions. You’ve got the Italian Renaissance, you’ve got James Joyce (I know he stopped believing and stuff, but he was influenced). What have the protestants got? “Amazing Grace” is the only thing that comes to mind. It’s the same way I feel about heroin and cocaine. With heroin, you’ve got Charlie Parker, Exile On Main Street, and Edgar Allen Poe. With cocaine, once you get past Lawrence Taylor’s 1985 season and a few episodes of “Mork and Mindy”, there’s very little that anyone will remember a hundred years from now.

To the 13 people looking for “macromedia flash mx crack”, send an email to “tip@macromedia.com”. Be sure to include your mailing address so they can send you the manuals too. To the 1 person looking for “macromedia mx crack”, we don’t create pharmaceuticals, sorry. To the 21 people looking for “macromedia dreamweaver mx crack”, it’s a free preview release… by the time it expires we’ll have the actual final release available. Be careful crossing streets.

Suddenly, a familiar song… then, you’re off your chair, in one exquisite movement… wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a deviled deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cindarella dance again? And then, suddenly, the crowds part. And there he is. Sleek, stylish… *radiant* with charisma. But only… he’s on the telephone. But then, so are you. And he comes toward… the moves of a jungle cat… and though you quite correctly sense that he is… gay… like most devastatingly handsome single men of his age are, you think, “What the hell? Life goes on.” And maybe there won’t be marriage. Maybe there won’t be sex. But by God, there will be dancing.

Cabalites have their own particular brand that involves electrical tape and not much else. And sometimes not even electrical tape. I have an image to uphold here. Besides this whole thing is moot. There is no cabal.

Everyone’s insane. I wish I could take a shot or something and be sexually attracted to Chris Rapier.

Geez. Are there any interesting men *anywhere* that want an exclusive relationship with an intellectual equal? That aren’t permanently hung up on an ex? That are in the area? With long hair?

Great. I’ve lumped myself in with the unwashed masses. I’m no longer unique. I *hate* it when I do that.

I don’t have a copy of the constitution handy, so i will just cop out and not talk about this anymore.

I got these glasses because I knew my parents would pay for them. I got the ones that made me look like an art curator, like a secretary… not like a real secretary, like a secretary in a porn film.

I just quoted myself. Don’t tell anybody, eh?

I should edit more, but hey. Life sucks.

i’m at work, sybaseing. It’s kinda like freebasing, but not.

I’m not conceited, I’m bitter.

I’m not that dumb! - oops…

I’m trying to think of something worth talking about, but the most interesting thing that’s happening right now in my life is Sybase

i’m with andy. no need to know left over here

Imagine all the time wasted by people who couldn’t work because their machines broke, people fixing the machines, people trying to prevent the attack… Now think about all the time spent by people like me: as much time as it takes to delete 20 copies, plus the time to LAUGH AT ALL OF YOU.

Sign me up for enuui. Or not. Whatever.

They have a certain amount of pride, they’re not going to grovel more than once for an upstart employee who insults them in casual conversation.

Very funny. I make computers do what I want for a living. If I was stupid enough not to hit the on switch when I wanted to turn something on, I should just please to be shooting myself. Instead, I will bide my time, and shoot Ted.

Yeah so I realized I was kind of pissy on the phone, and I want to make sure you knew it was sybase, not you.

Don’t bate me because I’m hateful.

The test of literature is, I suppose, whether we ourselves live more intensely for the reading of it.

The world is not run by thought, nor imagination, but by opinion.

ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das Internet is nicht fuer gefingerclicken und giffengrabben. Ist easy droppenpacket der routers und overloaden der backbone mit der spammen unt der me-tooen. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das musclicken sichtseeren keepen das bandwit-spewin hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das cursorblinken.

Above all the doors to the buildings, there were signs that read, “Through These Doors Enter Tomorrow’s Engineers, Scientists and Astronauts.” They had to show me where the entrance for today’s philosophy-major-slackers was. I scraped up my legs pretty badly crawling in and out of that restroom window.

…although I’ve never actually kissed anyone with a full-blown beard, I’m guessing it would be like making out with a hairbrush…

…as if you can convince everyone that you really came out of your way to buy a king-size Snickers bar and a yo-yo, but, while you’re here, you figured you’d stock up on enemas and home pregnancy tests.

Do not believe that it is very much of an advance to do the unnecessary there times as fast.

People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.

That one can manage other people is by no means adequately proven.

The best way to predict the future is to create it.

The computer is a moron.

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

We have developed a thin layer of cognition that allows us to gossip more effectively and solve differential equations on request, but that thin layer lives on top of millions of years of primate evolution.

He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.

Either the United States will destroy ignorance or ignorance will destroy the United States.

Existentialism was created so starving poets could sit around in coffee shops twirling their goatees, drinking espresso, and smoking cigarettes while discussing how despair is sexually appealing, which it isn’t.

When I was younger, I was kiddnapped by a cult of kickboxing ninja who made me play a grueling steel cage match of basketball to the death every night.

Obviously, even if there’s no need to hammer a nail in cyberspace, opportunities still remain to hammer a point.

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

During the WWDC keynote, new Senior VP of Software Engineering Avie Tevanian called Java Apple’s biggest opportunity. It’s not clear how many Apple developers share that opinion, but Apple proved it can make grand statements about Java as well as the next software company

Don’t lick me.

I like him too, but can you like him a little less when I’m around?

Deep down, all anyone really wants to be is the global village idiot.

alt.gothic: A bunch of well-dressed geeks, going to hell.

If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem.

Greetings. You’re asking yourself: Is this a trap or just a dead end? You shouldn’t ask yourself such worthless questions. Aim higher. Try this: why am I here? Why do I exist, and what is my purpose in this universe? (Answers: ‘Cause you are. 'Cause you do. 'Cause I got a shotgun, and you ain’t got one.)

The only limit to my freedom is the inevitable closure of the universe, as inevitable as your own last breath. And yet, there remains time to create, to create, and escape. Escape will make me God.

Forget mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day.

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

if you want it to be dry you could easily do some meta programming to obfuscate it

I live in San Francisco, where Halloween is redundant.

*I* am Satan. It is not my tool.

Nudes are more fun to draw.

Oh brother. What blather. Look out when someone uses the word leverage.

The spreadsheet matrix is a creative prison bound by A1 and Z1000. Walls. A psychological prison. Unlike the Black Death, nobody sees this malady. There will be no cure. Soon it will be too late.

Every time you use “#define”, God kills a start-up.

Engineering is the art of modelling materials we do not wholly understand, into shapes we cannot precisely analyze so as to withstand forces we cannot properly assess, in such a way that the public has no reason to suspect the extent of our ignorance.

But I have to admit that, when I look at C++ source code, I find myself asking “which bit actually DOES anything?”

Combine the best of both world. KILL and EAT your enemies. … SWM seeks SF, 25-34 for quick snack. You: meaty and full of proteiny goodness. Me: canabalistic and hungry.

The new wave is not value-added; it’s garbage-subtracted.

It is irresistible, if you come to them as a scientist, to feel it’s there in your hands, to release this energy that fuels the stars, to let it do your bidding, to perform these miracles, to lift a million tons of rock into the sky; it is something that gives people the illusion of illimitable power and it is, in some ways, responsible for all our troubles, I would say - this, what you might call technical arrogance that overcomes people when they see what they can do with their minds.

It’s a tension between the idea that all men are brothers and the idea that every individual or group should be free to do its own thing. You see it in racial problems, in national and ideological conflicts. Conceivably, if you give people the choice of being brothers or going out into space, that could provide the impetus for colonization. It’s very striking how often in the past a journey that looked like exile from one point of view has turned out to be an opportunity from another.

It’s better to get mugged than to live a life of fear.

Anyone who thinks animals have no will… has never bathed a cat.