quotes: i

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At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.
-Eric Idle
Remember when your mother told you not to play Dungeons and Dragons? She told you it would make you satanic, so you played it anyway. That's when you found out it makes you into something much worse: A gigantic nerd.
-ifilm.com
The INFO-MAC HyperArchive overflowed its 2GB disk while its maintainer was unavoidably detained by important business (involving sun, boating, the Greek islands, and fine wine).
-Info-Mac HyperArchive MOTD
Isn't Andrew II coming out the year after they bulldoze Skibo?
-Bob Igo (Note to those not involved w/ CMU: this was said in the early nineties. In the mid nineties the administration stopped talking about bulldozing Skibo and actually did it. Andrew II projects started going into production about a year later.)
Today's CS lecture will be conducted entirely through the medium of interpretive dance.
-Bob Igo
Bluetooth is like bacon. There is nothing that can't be improved by adding it.
-Andy Ihnatko
It's not the mere power to do something which will sell someone on a technology...it's the power to do something egregiously stupid on a mere whim. Lessons for the future of the Macintosh, methinks.
-Andy Ihnatko
I was chairman for two days, and then I had jets with my engines hit a building I insured, which was covered by a network I owned, and we are still growing 2001 earnings by 11 percent.
-General Electric Chairman and CEO Jeffrey Immelt
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
-Indian Proverb
Businesses Asses Windows 2000 As Ship Date Nears
-InformationWeek headline
gt100 sounds like something DEC would come out with. Lets hope they don't.
-Informix Online Workgroup Server termcap comment
Belief is not a voluntary thing. A man believes or disbelieves in spite of himself. They tell us that to believe is the safe way; but I say, the safe way is to be honest.
-Robert Ingersoll, "Some Reasons Why I Am a Freethinker"
If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane.
-Robert Ingersoll
In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences.
-Robert Ingersoll
The clergy know that I know that they know that they do not know.
-Robert Ingersoll, "Orthodoxy"
Let me explain about Genetic Engineering. That's where you take a cell from a human being and put it into a sheep, in the hope that one day it will go out and buy something.
-Neil Innes
goth clan...it's like a gang, except when it's time for them to jump you in, all they do is hold you down & put too much eyeliner on you
-Inox
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a drunken betrayal?
-Kevin Zygmontas
I feel like complete cat sphincter right now
-Inox
I take heart in the fact that your death resulting from you simply forgetting to breathe is likely.
-Inox
I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt.
-Inox
Infantalization, diminution...are you making a point somewhere in this email? It seems to me to just be a bunch of indignant posturing, but then again, I don't have a sp00ky email address yet. Until I get that, & the accompanying G0th Starter Pack, I won't be able to decode the secret language of vampires. You elude me.
-Inox
Look both ways, visit your wrath, & then deny everything.
-Inox
When someone says "I'm a neo nazi" I don't think, "Wow, they must really have learned a lot since last time. I'll give them another chance."
-Inox
You have an authentic stupidity that's hard to counterfeit.
-Inox
The fact that Microsoft has made an unwieldy cascading menu the centerpiece of their new operating system convinces us that their Usability Lab no longer employs interface designers or human factors engineers. In their Windows User Interface Guidelines, Microsoft explicitly states that cascading menus should be avoided, and if used, should not be more than 2 levels deep. Yet the major interface feature of Windows95 is a screen-size cascading menu that is often 4 or more levels deep and causes such large and rapid visual changes that it is likely to cause seizures among its epileptic users.
-Interface Hall of Shame
Those who believe in miracles when it comes to matters of the heart may believe that there is a perfect mate for each of us waiting to be discovered somewhere in the world. But if this is true, the far greater miracle is the frequency with which the Fates conspire to place this person within walking distance.
-Introduction to Psychology, Atkinson, Atkinson, Smith, Hillgard
You are a man troubled by those two most terrible of words: what... if.
-Jeremy Irons as Uber-Morlock in "The Time Machine"
History is composed of the smallest, often undetected mistakes.
-John Irving
The look of a man who's come to see What Might Have Been is full of both bloodshed and nostalgia.
-John Irving
The more clearly one sees this world, the more one is obliged to pretend it does not exist.
-John Irving
This is an old joke. There was a street clown called King of the Mice: he trained rodents, he did horoscopes, he could impersonate Napolean, he could make dogs fart on command. One night he jumped out his window with all his pets in a box. Written on the box was this: 'Life is serious but art is fun!' I hear his funeral was a party. A street artist had killed himself. Nobody had supported him but now everybody missed him. Now who would make the dogs make music and the mice pant? The bear knows this too: It is hard work and great art to make life not so serious. Prostitutes know this too.
-John Irving
you're either somebody's wife or somebody's whore, or fast on your way to becoming one or the other.
-John Irving
he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the Devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was -- a woman.
-Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Non sequitur is Latin for "w'uh huh?"
-Chris Isaak
He is the man who broke the Bank of England. This means your correspondent is now the man who broke the door knob of the man who broke the Bank of England.
-Faisal Islam, "Rich man, wise man...", The Observer, March 10, 2002
His code is 'write only'. It might work, but you have no chance of understanding or modifying it. You might as well burn it to CD.
-Kirk Israel
WinCVS has more bugs than than that Uncle Milton's Ant Farm I had as a kid
-Kirk Israel
So ... You're keeping me alive because you don't know DOS?
-Izzy, The Propecy II