THE SAFEST PLACE FOR YOUR KIDS RIGHT NOW IS INSIDE THE SCORPION PIT

Matthew Brian Cohen: “Only a few varieties of scorpions can actually kill you. Most scorpion stings will only maim the victim, with symptoms ranging from brief bouts of unbearable pain, mild convulsing, and some slight difficulty breathing. Are we supposed to disrupt our children’s education just because a handful of teachers don’t feel comfortable teaching in a dank pit with a bed of scorpions crawling all over everyone?”